NIGERIAN DYKE REALNESS
A candid and unfiltered podcast where Nigerian poet and artist Yvonne Onakeme Etaghene shares her thoughts on pop culture, music, love, spirituality, healing, depression, grief, and whatever else comes up. She brings her perspective as a multilingual, Ijaw Urhobo Nigerian dyke poet, performer, dancer, visual artist, and creative director. The show offers personal reflections and insights into her life and creative work, exploring themes of identity, queerness, and the Nigerian experience.
Episodes
They Tried to Punish You By Isolating You But You Shine Like the Star You Are Instead
You a rockstar, baby! Shine shine shine on! Wanna share your thoughts? Text me boo! Support the showMore about me: https://www.myloveisaverb.com More specifically about the podcast:www.nigeriandykerealness.com Mixtape/Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6R1SFz2YLwQM1WtnwFlCL3?si=bgQdNUGsTVaGk2lrzF7rpQ
Is It Procrastination? Or Self-Sabotage?
I looked at procrastination different when I realized it can sometimes be self-sabotage in disguise. As an artist, sometimes we stay in the researching, planning and strategizing phase rather than diving in and embodying our work. Wanna share your thoughts? Text me boo! Support the showMore about me: https://www.myloveisaverb.com More specifically about the podcast:www.nigeriandykerealness.com Mi
Alchemize Your Spite & Rage Into Energy That Fuels Your Dreams
You are a garden, a field, a farm. Compost their trash energy. Sew that compost and energy into the soil of your life and reap the harvest of your dreams. And that's on ALCHEMY, BABY!!! Wanna share your thoughts? Text me boo! Support the showMore about me: https://www.myloveisaverb.com More specifically about the podcast:www.nigeriandykerealness.com Mixtape/Playlist: https://open.spotify.com
The Only Way To Beat A Narcissist
The only way to beat a narcissist is to not engage in their BS. You cannot outsmart them and they don't react logically. Never underestimate how far a narc will take it. Remove their access to you. Your physical, emotional and mental safety are more important than confronting the person who abused you. Topics: mental health, spirituality, abuse, being a survivorWanna share your thoughts? Text
Vibrate Higher Than Narcissists Can Climb
When people want to constantly pick at things that make you feel small, they have found a wound to exploit. Any wound is a portal to remain there bleeding in pain or evolve and heal. Vibrate higher than the wound so it no longer controls you. Topics include: Spirituality and mental health. Wanna share your thoughts? Text me boo! Support the showMore about me: https://www.myloveisaverb.com More spe
Trash Talking + Spiritual Elevation
Your win is guaranteed. This episode discusses the power of language as it relates to spirituality and mental health. Wanna share your thoughts? Text me boo! Support the showMore about me: https://www.myloveisaverb.com More specifically about the podcast:www.nigeriandykerealness.com Mixtape/Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6R1SFz2YLwQM1WtnwFlCL3?si=bgQdNUGsTVaGk2lrzF7rpQ
Emotional Scammers Mistake Your Grace for Naïvité
If you extended compassion to someone who did not deserve it, forgive yourself. Apply discernment moving forward. Not everyone deserves your sweetness. Wanna share your thoughts? Text me boo! Support the showMore about me: https://www.myloveisaverb.com More specifically about the podcast:www.nigeriandykerealness.com Mixtape/Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6R1SFz2YLwQM1WtnwFlCL3?si=bgQ
Your Intuition Is Evidence Enough
Intuition is intelligence. Intuition is information. Intuition is communication. Your intuition is evidence enough. Wanna share your thoughts? Text me boo! Support the showMore about me: https://www.myloveisaverb.com More specifically about the podcast:www.nigeriandykerealness.com Mixtape/Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6R1SFz2YLwQM1WtnwFlCL3?si=bgQdNUGsTVaGk2lrzF7rpQ
Silent Treatment Is An Emotionally Abusive Weapon
Wanna share your thoughts? Text me boo! Support the showMore about me: https://www.myloveisaverb.com More specifically about the podcast:www.nigeriandykerealness.com Mixtape/Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6R1SFz2YLwQM1WtnwFlCL3?si=bgQdNUGsTVaGk2lrzF7rpQ
Other People's Jealousy of You Is Their Burden, Not Yours
If you minding your business and they keep talking about you...they a hater AND a fan. they feel threatened and intimidated by you. Keep shining baby. Other people's jealousy of you is their burden to carry, not yours! Wanna share your thoughts? Text me boo! Support the showMore about me: https://www.myloveisaverb.com More specifically about the podcast:www.nigeriandykerealness.com Mixtape/P
Are You A Villain? Or Did You Just Stand Up For Yourself?
Take care of yourself and protect your peace of mind. If an abuser calls you a villain just because you stood up for yourself, fuck them. xo! Wanna share your thoughts? Text me boo! Support the showMore about me: https://www.myloveisaverb.com More specifically about the podcast:www.nigeriandykerealness.com Mixtape/Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6R1SFz2YLwQM1WtnwFlCL3?si=bgQdNUGsTVaGk
Discipline Matters More Than Talent
Talent is important. And: it is how you use and embody that talent that determines whether you bring your artistic ideas to life or not. This episode provides artist development tips and strategies to complete creative projects and explores the distinctions between talent and discipline. This episode also touches on not letting perfectionism turn into procrastination or stagnation. Dive in and lis
You Are the Hero of Your Story - Heal Yourself, Free Yourself
Remembering the times when they hurt you is your right. Don't forget to remember the times you stood up for yourself, the times you walked away from spaces, places and people not good for you. You didn't give up on you, don't forget that part. Wanna share your thoughts? Text me boo! Support the showMore about me: https://www.myloveisaverb.com More specifically about the podcast:www.
Locate Your Audacity + Pivot
Locate and embody your audacity, channel that towards facing your fears and being your best self. Whenever you want make a pivot in your life, make your pivot. You don't have to wait for New Year's. Wanna share your thoughts? Text me boo! Support the showMore about me: https://www.myloveisaverb.com More specifically about the podcast:www.nigeriandykerealness.com Mixtape/Playlist: https:
Don't Let Anyone Take You From You - Heal Yourself, Free Yourself
What motivates my healing like nothing else? Knowing that the only path to freedom is through healing, is through facing what I am scared of, is by facing myself, embracing who I am, what I feel, what I want, what I deserve. Part diary entry, party personal essay, this episode is vulnerable, honest and inspiring. Wanna share your thoughts? Text me boo! Support the showMore about me: https://www.my
You Can't Save Someone Who Sees You As Prey
Sometimes being a people pleaser prevents you from understanding that the person or people acting entitled to your energy, resources and labor are a danger to you and you need to remove yourself. In this episode I reflect on differentiating between being generous and wanting to help others (emotionally, financially, etc) and having people make you feel obligated to be (overly) generous with them.
Did the Relationship Fail? Or Serve Its Purpose?
A relationship may not have progressed as you would have liked or envisioned, but that doesn't mean that relationship did not serve a purpose in your life. In fact, the true purpose of that relationship was to teach you some wisdom you need to live a more fulfilled life. You may have wanted an eternity but that relationship was only meant to be a lesson. Wanna share your thoughts? Text me boo
Cringe, Fear of Vulnerability & Why You Should Send the Paragraph
Wanna share your thoughts? Text me boo! Support the showMore about me: https://www.myloveisaverb.com More specifically about the podcast:www.nigeriandykerealness.com Mixtape/Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6R1SFz2YLwQM1WtnwFlCL3?si=bgQdNUGsTVaGk2lrzF7rpQ
Perfectionism Is A Distraction
In this episode I talk about how sometimes a desire to perfect our art projects masks our fear of judgment or criticism. I also celebrate the 10 year anniversary edition of my African Queer novel, For Sizakele (!!!) which you can learn more about on nigeriandykerealness.com or myloveisaverb.com. Our art is meant to be created and shared. Don't hide your brilliance from the world, darling ones
Which Is Better? A Little Poison? Or No Poison?
A little abuse once in awhile? Or no abuse at all? Which do you prefer? When you tolerate a little disrespect, a little shade, a rude comment here or there, you are accepting a little poison. A little poison is still poison. All that little adds up over time. Choose wisely. Wanna share your thoughts? Text me boo! Support the showMore about me: https://www.myloveisaverb.com More specifically about
You Are Someone's Favorite
You. Yes, You. You are someone's favorite artist. Favorite nail tech. Favorite painter. Favorite writer. Favorite dancer. What you are working on right now will change someone's life--starting with you. Something you wrote, painted or created is something that someone goes to again and again and loves in new ways. You are someone's favorite. Also: be your own favorite. P/S: Shout ou
What If Writers Were Considered Athletes? Would That Change How You Create Art?
What if as a writer you were considered an athlete and your writing was your sport--how would you approach your art differently? Would your writing practice change? Do you wait for inspiration? Or do you create regardless of whether you are inspired? These are some question this podcast episode explores. Wanna share your thoughts? Text me boo! Support the showMore about me: https://www.myloveisave
You Don't Owe Anyone the Performance of Perpetual Happiness
When you try to force yourself to be happy all the time, you stifle the valleys, the peaks, the flatlands, the mountains, the diverse emotional topography of the land that is you. Allow yourself to be who you are and feel how you feel. Allow yourself to breathe. You don't owe anyone your happiness, you owe yourself to be yourself. Wanna share your thoughts? Text me boo! Support the showMore a
control who has access to you & change your life
filter out of your life people who don't deserve you, trust me, you your & peace increases. seeking answers from someone who hurt you is pointless, in my opinion, because even if they tell you the precise genesis of why they harmed you--you were still harmed and still have to heal from your pain. a huge part of your power is not in chasing the people who harmed you to answer the WHY/HOW C
your curiosity about my life is not something i am required to satisfy
When people are being nosy, leave their questions unanswered. Especially when living an unconventional life, taking a unique path in life or choosing to be child-free--you will be questioned by the nosy and the presumptuous. Don't entertain them. You don't have to answer, explain or justify your choices. It's YOUR life, baby. Live it YOUR way. Wanna share your thoughts? Text me boo!
not every hobby has to be a money maker
Make time for the things you care about. Hobbies are important. Not every moment you spend in your life should be spent making money. Do your best to make some time for art that is purely for your own pleasure, enjoyment, release and/or self-expression. Wanna share your thoughts? Text me boo! Support the showMore about me: https://www.myloveisaverb.com More specifically about the podcast:www.niger
You Ever Do An Artist Self-Evaluation?
Some questions to ask yourself when evaluating your work, your process, your practice, your journey as an artist. Wanna share your thoughts? Text me boo! Support the showMore about me: https://www.myloveisaverb.com More specifically about the podcast:www.nigeriandykerealness.com Mixtape/Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6R1SFz2YLwQM1WtnwFlCL3?si=bgQdNUGsTVaGk2lrzF7rpQ
self-doubt is you betting against yourself
A more efficient use of your energy? Believe, truly believe, it works out perfectly for you. Wanna share your thoughts? Text me boo! Support the showMore about me: https://www.myloveisaverb.com More specifically about the podcast:www.nigeriandykerealness.com Mixtape/Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6R1SFz2YLwQM1WtnwFlCL3?si=bgQdNUGsTVaGk2lrzF7rpQ
Children Are Not A Retirement Plan
Just as you plan for every aspect of your life, so too must you plan for retirement. Children are a blessing, not a retirement plan or financial investment you should be expecting a return on. Feeling entitled to your children taking care of you in your old age is selfish. You chose to be a parent, be a parent. Allow your children to grow up without worrying about providing for you. Allow any fin
Black Sheep, Unicorns & Breaking Generational Curses
What does it mean to say no to abuse in an abusive family? Being the one to change a family dynamic or break toxic emotional patterns takes a lot of strength and courage. Sometimes the person with that courage becomes the black sheep, exiled from the family because of a refusal to go along with the toxicity. There can be a high price to pay for standing up for what you believe in, including losing
As Artists, What Happens When We Change?
Do we make room for artists to change and explore who they are and what they most desire to create? Do we allow artists to create their own vibe/sound/aesthetic before calling them tired, over or overrated? Do artistic eras exist anymore? How has social media impacted the shelf life of work and our patience with artists' process? From discussing the pandemic's impact on the arts to talki
Heartbreak Na Your Mate?!
Heartbreak comes in many forms. Whether from a romantic breakup, friendship breakup or as a result of trauma, grief or other life experiences. Heartbreak can come into our lives for a million reasons. How do you heal from it? How do we deal with it? Let's talk. Chat me up @NDRpodcast or @myloveisaverb on twitter. Wanna share your thoughts? Text me boo! Support the showMore about me: https://w
Whose Standards Are You Actually Living By?
Do you feel self-conscious about what you truly desire? Whose standards are you living your life by? Your own? Or your friends? Your parents? What's allowed in your space and what's not? Are you chasing your dreams? Or someone else's idea(l) of what your life "should" be? Take a listen, babes. Wanna share your thoughts? Text me boo! Support the showMore about me: https://w
Your Energy Is Your Power & Thoughts On Forgiveness
Is forgiveness necessary for your soul's growth and healing? Some things are unforgivable. You deserve healing regardless of whether you choose to forgive. Energy is food, is power. You feed and empower what you give energy to. Especially as you heal: why bother to expend energy towards those who hurt you by feeding them with your energy? This episode explores pathways to freedom past pain
Prayer Don Expire! & Calling Back Your Energy
Not everyone deserves your prayers. If they don't deserve that prayer, put an expiration date on it and direct that loving energy to someone who deserves it--YOU! Wanna share your thoughts? Text me boo! Support the showMore about me: https://www.myloveisaverb.com More specifically about the podcast:www.nigeriandykerealness.com Mixtape/Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6R1SFz2YLwQM1
Are You Your Own Soulmate?
Legendary singer, actress, dancer, Eartha Kitt said: "It's about falling in love with yourself and sharing that with someone who appreciates you, rather than looking for love to compensate for a self-love deficit." This episode explores this quote and what it means to be a WHOLE human being without needing or relying on another to complete you. Wanna share your thoughts? Text me boo
#SARSMustEndNow | Nigerian Youth Are TIRED | Political Context of SARS
Protests have been ongoing for six days in Nigeria and throughout the world against SARS (the Special Anti-Robbery Squad), a section of the Nigerian police that murder, steal, commit violence against and extort money from Nigerian citizens. #SARSMustEndNow protests have been led by Nigerian youth throughout the country, who are incredibly passionate because, simply put, they have had ENOUGH. In to
F**k Being Likable. Do YOU Like You?
The idea of "being likable" has been used to suppress women, African women in particular. In this episode, I discuss the invisible impact of colourism, the ways it's often ignored and dismissed. Also: I talk a bit about never taking your own beliefs for granted. Ask yourself what you believe now. Goals change. Don't let yourself get stuck in your vision of who you used to be. T
LOYALTY!
Everyone needs a code in this world, my love. Exploring loyalty to self, to others, to versions of yourself. My thoughts on LOYALTY as a choice and a gift, rather than compulsory. Take a listen. Wanna share your thoughts? Text me boo! Support the showMore about me: https://www.myloveisaverb.com More specifically about the podcast:www.nigeriandykerealness.com Mixtape/Playlist: https://open.spotify
FROM BROKEN TO MOSAIC: a spiritual journey & heeding the call of my soul
This is a Special Edition of the podcast! This is the audio from my YouTube channel exploring: What does it mean to embark on a new spiritual journey? To heal from grief, take care of your mental health, be vulnerable *and* listen to your heart? What does it mean to heed the call of your soul when you can't quite decipher the message or the path ahead? For the full visual and audio experience
BREAKING NEWS! Wait What?!?! Joe Biden Chooses Kamala Harris As Vice Presidential Running Mate
I got a text at 2:01pm from the Joe Biden campaign announcing Kamala Harris, California Senator and former presidential candidate, as his Vice Presidential nominee. I was so shocked by this choice! Take a listen and find out why. Wanna share your thoughts? Text me boo! Support the showMore about me: https://www.myloveisaverb.com More specifically about the podcast:www.nigeriandykerealness.com Mix
Celebrating Life ALWAYS No Matter the Circumstance
What exactly is the meaning of a birthday in the midst of a global pandemic? Live and direct, Yvonne celebrates her birthday, talks about divinity, the meaning of life and transforming pain and depression into lessons. Beyond cookie cutter advice on healing, how do you heal? How do you face your wounds? Yvonne comically advises against the uselessness of comparing yourself to other people and disc
What About African Dykes Tho?!
In conversations about gay tingz, apparently all the gays are men and all the women are straight. WHAT ABOUT AFRICAN DYKES THO?! In recent news, Philip Schofield, British ITV new presenter, came out as gay, after 27 years of marriage to a woman with whom he has 2 daughters. From this surprising news came a lot of conversation, a lot of homophobic comments and a lot of questions--like: can we talk
From Henna Tattoos to Jerk Chicken
Yv. nerds out about the origins and history of henna not only as a beautiful form of body art over 5,000 years old, but also the plant henna comes from and its medicinal, spiritual and cosmetic uses. Henna is used all over the world--in Tunisia, Nigeria, Egypt, India, Iran, Yemen and more. How has henna use in the U.S. impacted the authenticity of this artform and its aesthetics? What is lost when
15 Questions To Ask Yourself Before Getting Tatted
There are a million (yes, literally one million) things to think about before getting a tattoo. From choosing a tattoo artist to choosing what to get tatted and where to get tatted, Yv. goes IN, shares advice, reflections and the significance of tattoos to her. Whether inked already or considering getting your first tattoo, ask yourself these questions to help you along your tattoo journey. To see
Breathing Thru the Holidays + Depression
The holidays can be hard. This episode explores different tips and tools to get through it. Some jokes. Some music to vibe to, movies/shows to watch and of course some love to wrap yourself up in to get through this holiday season. Sending big big love. xoxox. Wanna share your thoughts? Text me boo! Support the showMore about me: https://www.myloveisaverb.com More specifically about the podcast:ww
Black Girls + Women Get Social Anxiety Too
Episode 3 explores the criticism Summer Walker experienced recently over a performance, the ways Black girls and women girls experience disproportionately high suspension and expulsion in schools as well as the general lack of compassion for Black women experiencing anxiety and addiction. Also: Black trans girls + women are the future. Shout outs to Whitney Houston, Summer Walker and Moya Bailey.
"Positive Vibes Only" Is A Scam, Fam
Positivity used to dismiss people's pain is a SCAM. I said what I said. (www.patreon.com/myloveisaverb)Wanna share your thoughts? Text me boo! Support the showMore about me: https://www.myloveisaverb.com More specifically about the podcast:www.nigeriandykerealness.com Mixtape/Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6R1SFz2YLwQM1WtnwFlCL3?si=bgQdNUGsTVaGk2lrzF7rpQ
Why Would I Match Somebody Else's Energy When I Have My Own?
In the first episode of NIGERIAN DYKE REALNESS, Yv. discusses the idea of matching the energy of the people we meet. How do you move through and navigate the people and situations you encounter? Do you match the energy of others? Extract your energy altogether? Or create your own vibe? (www.patreon.com/myloveisaverb)Wanna share your thoughts? Text me boo! Support the showMore about me: https://www
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